I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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