he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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