Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
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I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
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I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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