Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
My balls are so social today.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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