Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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