Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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