Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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