We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
ttyl tear gas
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
