is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
