I feel like abortions should bother me more
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
