So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
