let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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