It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
