This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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