I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
