): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
