i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
