I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Sponge bath it is.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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