Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
