sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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