I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
