I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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