try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
