Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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