3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
