1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
