Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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