i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize