At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
