okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
