hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
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You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
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Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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