We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
