I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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