Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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