TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Randomize
