i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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