Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
