drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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