Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
