I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Randomize
