alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize