Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
