If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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