Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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