you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
