Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize