I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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