1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
