i don't like sucking hair
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
