I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
