No, drunk sperm still make babies.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
