mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
