So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
