i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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