Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
