You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
