That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize