I am in a vortex of obligation.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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